This week I put more energy and focus on Youtube, and would love to invite you to follow Snazzy Little Things on Youtube as I roll out my new and improved channel. There is a red “subscribe” button on my Youtube page, so if you follow along you’ll be notified when we put up new content!
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About Rebuilding Confidence:
Now, if I can be totally raw, I’m going to share a bit more about me.
These last two years, I lost my way with blogging. But I was especially terrified to put out any video of myself. I didn’t used to be this way. In fact, only a few years ago, I did on-screen web commercials (like a talking head) and was paid to “model” so to speak. I did silly infomercials (all the bad acting and annoying voiceovers included), but I had a blast! One of my commercials even ran continuously in a well-known craft store for awhile.
All I can piece together is that some life events occurred during this timeframe that had a major impact on my self-confidence.
I normally will myself to “get over” things and move on. And I normally do. So I guess I’m shocked that I allowed this to affect me as much as it did.
I’ve been lucky and enjoyed a strong career most of my life. But during my last software sales job, I had a notoriously horrible boss. Prior to him, I was very content working for a different manager in a different role. Yet my “future horrible boss” approached me several times about moving back into an outside, traveling sales role. As a 40+ year-old mom, I knew what I wanted at this phase of my life. I was very upfront about my limitations when it came to travel because I wanted to be near my kids and my husband. I didn’t want to be absent from my kids’ lives and gone Sunday through Friday. But after several negotiations (and incentives) I accepted the outside role — wrongly assuming that we had an understanding.
Almost immediately, he talked down to me very publicly on conference calls in front of the entire team. He was dismissive of my past successes as well as any ideas I offered on conference calls. He began speaking very slowly and loudly to me – as if I didn’t understand sales 101. I tried to ignore it or even deny that it was happening. But it became bad enough that my co-workers called after conference calls to see if I was okay and to offer their sympathies.
Eventually, I realized the gravity of the situation, and I was not okay. It was taking it’s toll on me personally. I was behind the wheel of the car constantly. Eating on the road. Gaining weight and losing confidence in my abilities as a sales person. I became timid and unsure of myself in every meeting. Somehow I believe his treatment was all part of his plan. .
our travels
I had a four-state territory and would be gone several days per week in addition to my trips to Israel. My “lack of” travel ultimately was his issue. Ironically, other reps were traveling far less than me. But whatever his reasons were, the target was on MY back. He rarely attended my client meetings. What few he did attend I felt like he was evaluating and observing my every move. I was critiqued to an extreme, and sometimes, in front of customers. I was the only female sales rep in the company, and here I was working for a misogynist. I even contacted a lawyer who felt that I had a solid case of workplace discrimination. But I never pursued anything.
I’m not new to the workplace rodeo, so I understand the need to prove oneself. But at the time I left, I was at 96% of my sales quota. Taking your lumps is normal when your numbers are down, but there was absolutely no reason for me to be personally attacked every single day. I’ve experienced the reality that when you reveal that you are M-O-M in certain workplace environments it’s a sign of weakness and vulnerability – and it’s especially risky in the technology industry.
Needless to say, I don’t work there anymore. Slowly, I am willing myself to “get over it” and to bounce back.
If I can make video a regular part of my posting schedule, without overthinking it – I think it could be even easier (and more fun!) than writing.
Am I right? Let me know if you’d love video and what kind of weekly topics you’d like to see from me. Here are some ideas:
Topics:
1) Home tours from beginning to end of a room transformation
2) Detailed tutorials (overhead shots)
3) Weekly “Answering Top 5 Questions” on the blog this week – like a video chats
4) Other ideas?
Thanks as usual for all of your input – I love it when you all comment on my posts, it makes me feel connected to real people and makes blogging so much more fun (for me). You all have great ideas. And I promise I’ll attempt to answer each and every one!
Micky Galli says
I can’t believe you went through that! And I was so envious of all your fun traveling! You are a beautiful, smart, snazzy 😊woman. Never let anyone bring you down! Yes!! You should totally do videos! I think all those ideas would be grestgreat !I’m sorry you went through that, but oh so proud that once again you will shine above the adversity you have gone through. Keep shining Jeanette, God Bless You!
Jeanette says
Micky, you didn’t know but I totally understood! I was making the best of it and surviving at the time, and I got to do some realllly cool things. But it came at a price and I had to process some of it — ultimately it all worked out. You are such a good friend, thanks for your support. By the way, my stepdaughter lives VERY close to your area from what I gather, we will need to get together when we visit! xoxo
Shelly says
Love your honesty! Thank you for sharing ! I look forward to your new videos and subscribed to your channel!
Shelly
Jeanette says
Thanks Shelly! I hope I can get the hang of YOutube, I get hung up on the techy details. I’m excited to try!
Teddee Grace says
I’m 73 and retired, but worked by entire life and can so relate to not only what you went through, but what so many women who are now coming forward and making public what they’ve gone through in the workplace. When I first graduated from university, the working woman’s life in Chicago was so much like Mad Men it was ridiculous and we thought that was just the price we had to pay to join the workforce. I don’t see that things have changed that much, unfortunately. The last place I worked before retirement in 2010 was so misogynistic and sexist I couldn’t even come up with words to describe my repugnance with what was going on. I don’t know what the answer is, but I think you need to recognize, as odd as it may seem, that your supervisor probably was attracted to you. Sometimes if we are oblivious to this, they will take it out on us using the techniques you just described. It is good you are no longer working for this oaf. Chin up and best of luck!
Jeanette says
Teddee, I think you and I could talk for hours. I watched every episode of Mad Men and couldn’t help but feel sorry for the women in that show, and felt exactly the same about today’s world. I think it was even worse when I was a single Mom – I had to almost pretend my kids didn’t exist because it was a sign of weakness. You are so right, and there is a similar pattern today. Surviving in that world hardened me a bit. I could get very political here but I try to keep this blog my “happy escape”. But deep down all of what you’re saying is just beneath the surface and part of what makes me who I am. <3
Anne says
I’m so proud of you. Don’t ever be afraid to put yourself out there. I was watching a few of your videos and I’m like… wow I need to step up my game! You’re rocking it keep on sharing you’ve got this!
Jeanette says
Oh Anne you’re the biggest reason WHY I’m putting myself out there and trying video again. Thanks for making it less scary for me. You’re awesome. Love you, girl!
Beth says
You are beautiful!! and simply amazing!!! I know you will ROCK this video adventure 🙂
Jeanette says
Beth, you make video look so easy! Thanks for the encouragement, I need it! xo
Donna says
Jeanette;
I, too, can sympathize with your dilemma with your former ‘boss’. I was an ‘electrical journeyman’ in an predominately male environment in a world reknown company in which most of the employees were males. The stories I could tell. It was a very challenging work environment. I loved the work I was doing but it was the people I had to deal with that was difficult.
I work for myself now and couldn’t be happier with my ‘boss’. I love what I do, I choose what hours to work and my environment is ‘misogynistic’ free.
I’m looking forward to your new videos. I wish you much success.
Ellen says
The best revenge is to live well. If you don’t put yourself back out there again, he is still in control of your present and your future. Take the control back and away from someone who shouldn’t have it. Don’t let him rob you of your confidence and the life you know you deserve. Your story will be an inspiration to others who think they can’t do it. Keep on keeping on girl!